my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
