This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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