so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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