Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
