Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
