So drunk, too bad you don't want this
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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