addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
