you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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