you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
