Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
