u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
