using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Green mimosas i think yes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
