just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
