So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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