I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My dick has a subreddit
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
