there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
