omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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