he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
