elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you never un-have a 4some
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
