Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
