i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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