dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
