Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
