What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
