my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
