Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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