Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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