I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
