there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
