oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
