But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
