I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
