yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
