Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wear drunk well.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
