I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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