Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just pee around me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
