Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
