i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
