so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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