Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
