you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
