RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
