you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
