Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
