Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
