I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
