I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
