just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
