Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
