yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
