Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
