He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
