I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
